You don't know this about me -- no one does -- but I am a science genius and I've invented a cost effective jet pack. It works. I use it to fly around all over this big crazy Earth, but my favorite place to fly around is New York City.

Bzzzzzzzz, says my jet pack as I scrape the sky, higher and higher, effectively emasculating the Empire State building. I don't care what anybody says, because I have achieved the freedom of birds. I look down on New York City and I see everything happening in vain.

I see Spiderman whipping webs everywhere and saving girls. He is caught up in the ridiculous toil of everyday life. He is useless. I buzz around, I fly higher and higher, scraping the sky. I look down and I see New York City and then I do not see New York City. I fly much higher. I am a science genius. I'd like to make a phone call.